Chart of life part 6.

Author: | Posted on: March 29, 2012

It is hard to come to terms with, sometimes, that the very place you want to run away from, the very environment is the same one which can provide solutions.  The baby girl was given an appointment at Great Ormond Street Hospital.  In London, the girl would have to take, her baby up to the doors to the place which could offer her the means to survive.

Why me?  The question was on the lips, as the girl sat and waited, inside the hospital ward, she could not help but ask why was this happening to her.

Guilt.  It came into question.  Had she done something to cause this to occur for her baby? Wracking herself with doubts and queries she could not understand why this had to take place.  Things were so unclear, she sat on the hard plastic bench, the entry way to the hospital suit and hugged her baby.  Her heart was beating.  Her cheeks were rosy.  A smile was beaming from her face.. .yet she knew that what was coming next for her baby and what the Consultant would say could make an effect; an effect on her life forever. 

Bravery.  It didn’t come into question.  In the passing days, the events which took place; they took a while to sink in.  The doctors had checked the baby girl over, run tests, looked into her state and condition.  You are so brave, people had said to the girl, all these faces went by in a blur.  So brave.  So brave.  She wasn’t.  She did not feel it.

Notification came from the hospital and a consultant was assigned to the baby.  The first treatment surrounded the Scoliosis, the curvature of the spine.  The baby would have to be admitted; this would pre-empt the surgery which would be performed.  The girl went up to the steps of the hospital the day of admitance with a heavy heart, her feet dragged and she did not want to hand her baby over.

It was hard to give over control.  To know that the life of someone so precious was to be left in someone’s hands.  The staff were brilliant.  However, as the girl carried her baby down the corridor and as she sat by the bed of her designated place, she felt the surroundings crumble.  It was the scene, the very living reality of it all that swept through.  The baby looked up at her, she was playing, unaware of what was to take place.  A surgery.  For a baby so small.

The girl, that afternoon, sat and watched.  She placed her baby in the bed and tried to absorb the ward.  The girl tried to take in her surroundings.  It was the best place to be.  It was the paramount and leading hospital for children.  It was also the worst place to be.  It was a nightmare to have to sit there and watch her child who needed so desperately to lay there.

There were other wards, lots of them.  As the seconds ticked on, the girl realised, she had drawn everything down to her little enclosed space.  The bed where her child lay had become a little bubble.  Everything else had been hazy.  Yet as she looked out and whilst her baby slept she decided to get up and take a walk down the corridor.

You do never realise the aspect of others or how people are effected by problems of their own, not until you come to face it.  Walking down the corridor, the girl could not help, but look and witness all the beds filled with toddlers.  Some had tubes inserted.  Such tiny babies hooked up to machines.  Such worried expressions sat like a curtain around each child.

One mother, she had two children at the hospital, both admitted and due for serious surgical treatment, both in varied wards. 

One child had a heart surgery, one which was new and had never been performed before.

One had a sibling, a twin which was conjoined and had recently been treated.

One, well one was her own little girl, and she was surrounded by the thoughts and emotions of raw need and love.  There was so much need to help improve the condition of these children and also so much love which came from them.

It would have been wrong to say that afternoon had not been anything but sad and anguished; it was all about understanding.  Understanding there was more to what that girl and child were contemplating.  Many layers of compassion.  Many fascets of success.

Whilst it was true to say that being in that hospital was gut wrenching.  It was also being in that hospital that was saving her baby.  Many parents and patients who were uncovering layers of experience, beings who would chart a new course of life.

When there was a moment to think, that girl, saw that beyond the pain there was a level of love.  Company was there and in its most strong.  As she walked back to her baby she felt that whilst there were many tribulations to face, much left to do there was yet the flipside of the coin and the fact that this was a chance.

When she got back, her baby was awake, looking at her and she smiled.  There was a reason for this part in her understanding; it was a moment which left her clear in a field of confusion, for there may be pain and sorrow, guilt and anguish yet there was also the wisdom of her ancestors and forefathers who said that it was in this time that spirit could help you learn, could give you a chance of something.  It was in the fact she knew that something had helped her to be there, in that hospital, in the best instituition which would help her baby heal.  It was in being there that she comprehended there was a point to which she had to let go and help to steer her chart of life in the best way forward; there was so many aspects to her baby’s condition that the doctors had yet to find out about and there was also so much more joy for her to uncover.

Go Forward With Courage

When you are in doubt, be still, and wait;
when doubt no longer exists for you, then go forward with courage.
So long as mists envelop you, be still;
be still until the sunlight pours through and dispels the mists
— as it surely will.
Then act with courage.

Ponca Chief White Eagle (1800’s to 1914)

Friend do it this way – that is,
whatever you do in life,
do the very best you can
with both your heart and mind.

And if you do it that way,
the Power Of The Universe
will come to your assistance,
if your heart and mind are in Unity.

When one sits in the Hoop Of The People,
one must be responsible because
All of Creation is related.
And the hurt of one is the hurt of all.
And the honor of one is the honor of all.
And whatever we do effects everything in the universe.

If you do it that way – that is,
if you truly join your heart and mind
as One – whatever you ask for,
that’s the Way It’s Going To Be.

passed down from White Buffalo Calf Woman

If you have faced honestly, fairly and squarely all the problems and difficulties that beset you; if you have tried within the limits of your own power to find a solution and you have failed, then you have a perfect right to ask that some higher power, some greater soul, should give you the light in your hour of perplexity.  Silver Birch.

Read more next Thursday.

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