Level Two. Mum or Dad.

Level Two. Mum or Dad.

By Michelle Lloyd.

Nigel would often think about what made fitting in so important.  At school, outside and even at home he certainly felt the need to do it, but why?

Fitting in for Nigel meant belonging and having a sense of being one of a collective.  It could be that it made him feel needed or accepted but Nigel was not sure which one it was, if it was one or the other, or even both.

At school Nigel watched as everyone quickly assembled into their own getting about the day activity and this inevitably included talking, being seen and being with the ones they felt the most at ease.  Nigel had not felt as if he fitted in at first because he was not physically as fast or able as his classmates but after a little time he found out that he could do almost everything the others could do, only he had his own ways of going about it.  Partly this discovery had been thanks to his Mum and Dad.  Both parents had been keen to tell him about how everyone had their own differences and that it was not what you did or did not have that was important but how you went about doing what you could, that was what truly mattered.

It was a somewhat difficult lesson to take to heart for Nigel and he had to admit that it was a life lesson that came with a lot of people watching.  In this case, the people watching had been focused on his Mum and Dad.

Nigel’s Mum and Dad were both extremely busy but they really were quite different.  His Mum would have lots to do that his Dad could not do well at all and it was true to say that the same could be said for the other way round.  Neither was upset about what they did not do though and each worked on what they did well at home, at work and even with Nigel.  It was a partnership, a team.  Nigel, after watching them understood that fitting in for them meant working together and working well at what they needed and liked to do.  Nigel did not always find easy every hobby that either his Mum or Dad had, for example baking he found out was not quite a natural talent for him and he had guessed that even before he had put the salt into the icing mix by mistake!

Nigel soon found that fitting in for him was not with Mum or Dad but more about what they were as a family.  Fitting in could be exactly as they made it to be.

It was similar at school and Nigel found that it was not so important who did what but how he felt about it.  Fitting in for Nigel, he discovered, was less focused on what others thought but how he felt he could do something and if he put that first then the rest followed.  When Nigel felt that he liked something then he would go and do it in the way that he could, he would not worry about what others thought and whilst he had in fact had a few failures, the successes he had achieved far outweighed any regrets he could have ever had at school or at home.